Snowboarding

Took the boys snowboarding today for the very first time.  I must give HUGE HUGE HUUUUUGGGGGE kudoos to the boys instructor who was VERY patient with them and really took the time to be super AWESOME with them.

Parker was a bit of a suck - surprise surprise, and Blaine wasn't really into the physical aspect of it.  He liked it when I called him Mr. Awesome, because he seemed to glide down the hill with little or no effort and I didn't see him fall once!  I chalk that up to his low center of gravity and small body weight!  I, on the other hand, was nicknamed Mrs. Fally pants.  Uhm, gee, one guess as to why I was named that?! 

I will say, the kiddie hill is actually HARDER than just going down an average run.  You actually have to WORK at getting down the hill instead of having gravity do the work for you!  And once it warmed up a bit and the snow was a bit wet, well then it was sticking to our boards and the effort was even greater!!  Needless to say, couple that with my Zumba class last night and I'm ONE HURTIN' UNIT!!  My legs are killing me. 

The happy ending to this story is, that despite the suck outs, tears, meltdowns and frustrations, the boys left feeling like they LOVED snowboarding.  Of course hearing this I instantly thought, "Were you guys on the same hill as I was???" but I'm happy that their first memory of it, is a good one.

Now on to BC and Big White!!

EEEEEEK!!

I have a lazor level and I'm not afraid to use it!

In an attempt to avoid clean laundry mountain, I decided I would finally install Parker's closet organzier.  He doesn't have a dresser, so an organizer is kind of essential.  We bought the organizer almost a year ago.  It's time. 

For those of you who don't know, between Paul and I, I am the handy one.  When Paul and I started dating, Paul had just bought a BBQ.  He lived in an amazing little apartment in High Park, and it was just coming on the hot days of summer.  A BBQ would be perfect.  But days started to turn into weeks and I was getting antsy for this BBQ to be put together.  So one day when Paul was at work, I just did it myself.  In under 3 hours I might add.  Did it last, you ask?  6 years we had that BBQ and now my brother has it!  Damn straight it lasted!! 

So I've taken it upon myself to do some home improvements.  Hung the mirror in the front hall last week, that also, had been waiting for over a year.  And now I was going to tackle the closet. 

Well of course I had to document the progress!!

BEFORE

You can clearly see the closet is very bare and has no structure to it at all.  The last owners put up that make shift wood so they could put up another rail to hang clothes...but you can only hang so many of a 5 year olds sweaters! 

I had to drill holes in the wall and put anchors in.  No problem.  Done that before.  BUT I had to make sure they were all LEVEL.  EEK.  I decided to use Paul's new lazor level.  I love that thing!!

You can see the anchors going in nice and straight against my lazor line.  The thing sucks right to the wall and just stays there.  And then when you are done, you press the release button and it pops off and no marks!  Love it.  Wait a sec.  I'm forgetting something. 

Should I be WEARING those glasses?  OOPS. 

First bracket up, next one going up.  Just to be certain, I'll double check with a 'traditional' level. 



It's freaking PERFECT.  Ahhhh, is that not a thing of BEAUTY?!  My Dad would be so proud!  Funny how my perfectly level bracket is NOT level in my picture....oh well!

After the horizonal brackets were up, the vertical ones were easy.  Although they too had to be anchored.  What's with the over use of anchors anyways?  I tried to cheat and use one of those 'plugs' but drilled the hole too large and the darn plug just disappeared down the hole.  So, toggle bolts it is! 

You can see here the (almost) finished product. 

Parker was quite happy to have a special shelf just for his lego, to keep it up, out of Kiefer's reach.  It still seemed like it needed more to me.  So one more trip to Home Depot and voila!!

AFTER

I added another shelf to the bottom on the left side and another shelf above the special lego shelf.  SO much neater and not the obscene amounts of hangers needed anymore!! 

SIGH.  I guess now that I have a place to PUT the clothes, I should get up there and fold them. 

:) 



A new perspective

Today I am done.  I am done fighting with my body.  Today I have decided to make peace with what I've got and celebrate my triumphs.  In celebration of my triumphs, I am posting my VBA2C story.  I have posted it on Facebook but not yet on my blog. 

So here, for your reading pleasure, is my VBA2C story.  I am not a proudful woman, but this story I AM quite proud of.  It was more than just giving birth.  It was finding a supportive birth team.  Doing the research and legwork.  Not taking NO for an answer.  Find the inner peace and strength.  And then, yes, pushing that 9.5 pound sucker out! 

So here it goes:

Wednesday, October 14^th

Daddy was in the city today for work and then went to Nana’s house for dinner.  He had a game of hockey to play at 8:15 pm and since my midwives appointment the day before showed my cervix STILL closed up tight, I told him to go play his game and enjoy.

Derek had karate that night so I had to pick him up.  Holly (babysitter) helped me get the kids all ready for bed and we loaded up everyone in the car and left just before 7 pm to pick up Derek.  On the way home from getting Derek, both Parker and Blaine fell asleep.  When we got home I carried Blaine to bed but it nearly KILLED me!  I went to the neighbors to ask if he could carry Parker to bed (at nearly 45 pounds there was NO way I could do it!)  I joked with the neighbor that if I even tried to get Parker in the HOUSE it would put me into labor!  J  After the neighbor left I went to the bathroom and noticed a bit more of my mucus plug had passed, but this time there was a bit of blood with it.  I called Daddy to tell him but told him there was no cramping at all so not to worry.  Everything you read says when you pass your plug it could still be WEEKS – and since just the day before I was still CLOSED up tight I didn’t think anything was happening. 

At around 8:10 pm I got a pretty strong cramp.  Stronger than the Braxton Hicks I was experiencing – but not as strong as how I remember labor feeling.  Around 8:20 another cramp – but the same sort of feeling.  Since both little boys were in bed and Derek was getting ready for school the next day, I decided to get into the tub to relax a little.  8:24 pm I had my first “this is it” contraction.  GREAT!  Daddy just started playing hockey at 8:15 – and he’s the GOALIE!!  I tried his cell phone anyways, but there was, of course, no answer.  I texted him that “I’m in labor – come HOME!” and then I looked up the number of the hockey arena.  MIRACLE among miracles someone answered the phone in the office. 

“Hi my husband Paul Birkbeck is playing hockey right now on I believe the team name is The Rock.  This is his wife and I’ve just gone into labour.”

“Oh my God,” is what I heard on the other end.  “Oh my God, do you want me to tell him to meet you at the hospital?!” 

“NO!” I replied, “I’m not driving myself there!!  Tell him to meet me at home.”

I then kept experiencing the contractions about every 7 minutes and they were gradually getting stronger.  By the time I got out of the tub half and hour later, they were now 5 minutes apart.  I called Grandma and told her she should come over to watch the boys and that Daddy would be home in 20 minutes.  Daddy came home still in his hockey gear – green sweat pants!  He looked like a leprechaun!  I told him to change and we started the drive to Scarborough.

I was a bit worried in the drive, because the contractions started to feel like they were going into my back – but I was sitting down in the car and it was very hard to move around so Daddy kept reassuring me that once I could stand up again things would be fine. 

Once we got to Nana’s house, we called the midwives.  Mommy told a little white lie saying that we lived with Nana so we could get the midwives to take on my care.  Aviva, our midwife, talked me through 4-5 contractions and said that likely it wasn’t time to go to the hospital yet, but that she would come over and check me to see where I was at.  We needed to go to the hospital once I was around 5-6 cm dialated.  I felt like I was probably around 2-3 cm. 

Aviva came in and checked me right away and gave me quite a surprised look. 

“We need to go now!  You’re 5 cm and I can stretch you to 7 cm”

The stretching was PAINFUL!  I could NOT believe it!!  I had gotten to 5 cm relatively easily.  The last time I was in labour I was SCREAMING for an epidural before 3 cm!  Granted I was having back labour last time, and that is something VERY different from normal labour. 

Aviva called the hospital and notified them we were on our way, and JUST our LUCK!  Dr. Silver was on call!!  Dr. Silver was the OB that I had a consult with at 36 weeks to see if he would support our trying for a VBA2C.  He WAS very supportive at the time but warned us that depending who was on call – we may encounter some resistance. How lucky it was that we had HIM as our consulting OB and now he was the doctor in the hospital on call! 

We arrived at the hospital and got our room and settled in a bit before walking around.  I labored for almost another two hours and Aviva checked me again only to find out I had progressed VERY little since arriving at the hospital.  I was very disappointed in this, as I wanted an ‘intervention free’ labour.  Dr. Silver checked me as well, after some heart monitoring, and said that I was barely 8 cm – only 1 cm further along than I was 3 hours ago.  Along with Aviva, they decided to break my water to see if they couldn’t get baby to come down a bit further to help things progress.  That’s when the REAL pain started.  VERY powerful contractions and I walked for a small amount, but the contractions were coming on fast and powerful.  After about an hour, I told Daddy I didn’t think I could do it, and I might need some pain relief.  He looked me in the eyes and said, “You are doing it.  Keep going.  We’re almost there.”   He was so strong and stood up to me when I wanted to give up. 

We went back to the room and I labored another hour and the contractions started to feel like they were EVERYWHERE.  My back, my entire belly, my entire body!  I told Daddy I couldn’t do it any longer.  I needed an epidural.  I couldn’t take the pain.  He told me no several times, but my body was shaking with every contraction and now they were right on top of one another – no breaks.  Daddy looked like he was going to cry.  I told him before we went into labour NOT to give in to me – to stand up to me and make me do it completely naturally but he could see how much pain I was in.  He gave in and told the midwife we needed an epidural.  She knew as well how badly I wanted to do it all by myself so she suggested she check me to see where I was and perhaps I could make it the rest of the way.

She checked me and again the surprised look.  Baby had come right down and I was fully dialated!  I was ready to push.  And as soon as she told me that, I got my first urge to push.  She told me to wait as she needed her back up midwife, Kristie, there before we were ready to push.  I stifled three contractions and then couldn’t take it anymore.  Avivia called in a nurse and I started pushing.  Shortly after, Kristie arrived and we continued to push.  I found it REALLY hard to find the “baby spot” but I knew exactly when I had it and when I didn’t.  I pushed for over an hour and was getting really tired.  With every contraction I would push 3 times and most of the time I would only get one of those three pushes “right”.  Kristie leaned in and said, “Krista I know you’re tired, but you have to dig down and find some energy to push this baby out.  Get mad.  Get the energy somehow.  You need to get this baby out with the next couple of pushes or Dr. Silver is going to have to come and vacuum him out.” 

I realized then, I had done it.  The baby was coming out vaginally no matter what!  And damn it all if I’m going to let someone use a vacuum at this point!!  I had done it all on my own and I was going to FINISH it all  on my own. 

Two more contractions and 4 more pushes and the baby was out!  I SCREAMED when the baby crowned and came out.  Hey my only scream!  I think I did pretty good. 

I’ll NEVER forget (or at least I hope I never do) the feeling of giving birth.  The baby coming out of my body and INSTANTLY having a wet soggy crying baby placed on my chest.  All I could keep saying was “oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD!”  Finally I managed to say, “you’re so beautiful, we did it.”

I sort of get it

Okay I sort of get it now.  Twitter that is.  I am "following" people.  And I have a few "followers".  And I can now 'tweet' from my phone. 

I just don't get WHY I would want to do this.  How does this differ from a facebook status?

I will say, I'm liking that I get to start fresh from a whole "friends" perspective! ;)

I don't get it

I don't understand Twitter.  I just don't.  It is not intuitive on how you 'add' people, or what the whole point of the darn thing is. 

I'm a smart lady.  I don't pat my own back that much at all, but I AM smart. 

And I seriously DON'T get it.

Drat. 

I hate that.

I'm fighting

I'm in a big fight right now.  I'm trying to not think about the times that she failed me before when I had my two cesarean sections, but it's hard sometimes to leave the past in the past.  I'm trying my best to rationalize that there were extenuating circumstances why she couldn't come through for me back then, but when it happens again, you start to wonder. 

I'm fighting right now with my body.  Yes, my own body.  For a long time I viewed my cesarean sections as a failure of my body.  I didn't even want to live in it for the longest time because I was so mad at it for failing me.  Failing us, me and my baby.  Well, we're fighting again. 

I started this diet just over two weeks ago, full of vigor and ambition.  I was not going to fail.  I just WAS NOT.  It wasn't an option.  And for over the last two weeks I've been doing GREAT!  Lost just over 10 pounds!!! 

Aaaaannnnnnnd, here's the catch.  My milk supply has dried up.  Like almost to nothing.  Kiefer latches on and gets 3, maybe 4 good gulps of milk and then that's it.  He keeps sucking and sucking away, and it starts to smart a bit, since there is nothing there, but I keep him latched on in the hopes that it will up my supply. 

So, I have abandon my diet - AGAIN.  I was started the Body for Life diet a few months before we left for Dominican.  Same thing - dropped 12 pounds in two weeks and milk supply plummetted.  So I stopped dieting.  I feel like the biggest loser and failure in the world.  I have gone back to my old eating habits MINUS all the junk food we would eat in front of the TV at night.  I hate it.  And the worst part of it all is, my supply has not yet recovered.  So I feel like I am eating too much for nothing. 

And hence my "fight" with my body.  Like seriously, I'm pretty sure that if my body just tapped into the fat in my ass or my thighs my kid could eat like a king for QUITE some time.  So why do I gotta suffer because I'm trying to eat a bit healthier??  Not only for myself but to provide a good example to my kids so they grow up knowing what healthy eating looks like. 

GRRRRRRRRRR.  I'll let you know when the fight ends.  Right now I gotta take my fenugreek and blessed thistle, wash 'em down with a beer and hit the hay.  Beer, herbs and sleep.  Anything else I'm missing to bring this milk up???

Water water everywhere and not a drop to drink

Well not exactly true, there's a crap load I can drink, just having a really hard time getting it down this week.  I have yet to work out and I'm feeling it.  It's amazing really.  Feeling sluggish, tired, and my mood is down too. 

Gotta get this baby to bed and then I can do my "FIRM" workout and get back to being me. 

Man I long for the twice a day run days again!  LOL  I'm going to get there...I'll be the hottest 50 year old running around that lake!  :P

Getting harder

The whole new eating style is getting much harder this week. 

Sigh

The water isn't going down as easy.  The cravings have started, and oh yes, this lingering headache.  My body's way of arguing with what I'm doing.  I think it's the lack of sugar and junk that is causing the headache. 

I know I can work through it.  Dance tonight.  Burn some calories.  Have eaten well ALL weekend, even though I was in a room with carrot cake and goodies. 

I'm doing good.  Stay on track.  Stay on track.

I've lost 7 pounds so far.  :)  Most people notice weight loss at about 20 pounds.  Whew.  13 more pounds to go.  I want to break my 'record' by Valentines day.

I can do it. 

A heart shaped chocolate is waiting for me at the finish line!  :P

Staying on course

I was putting away laundry just now and as I loaded up our closet what do I find???

A lone turtle chocolate.  So yummy.  Gooey goodness surrounded by chocolate heaven.  (Yes I hide food in weird and wonderful ways!)  But I've been doing so good!  Haven't cheated once.  Immediately I check the 'nutrional value'.  280 calories for 3 chocolates.  But this is only ONE.  Surely ONE couldn't hurt. 

NO.  I'm determined to stay on track.  I have been garbarating any 'bad' food I find, but I'm up in our room.  To carry that little chocolate all the way downstairs....that's a long walk for the two of us to do alone. 

I do the next best thing. 

"hey Parker and Blaine, I need you to do me a favor" 

I use a credit card to cut it in half and they devour it in about two seconds. 

PHEW.  Crisis averted.  And some really happy kids too! 

New Years Resolutions

So I heard on the radio today that 90% of us who make new years resolutions, will be DONE with those said resolutions within the first MONTH of making them. 

Wow.  Seriously?  Come on people.  What's WITH that?! 

So I know it's only the first week but I'm going to pat myself on the back here anyways.  Here's how I'm doing with my resolutions:

1. Making meals from scratch: GOOD!  I love making home made meals for the boys and seeing them love them!  Tonight, ahhhhh, not so good...I mean, I made a home made quiche.  From scratch crust and everything.  Spinach and cheese.  MMMMMM. I was SO looking forward to eating it!  And then as I was pulling it out of the oven, I dropped it!  Now this sucks for two large reasons.  One my freaking meal was on the floor (and it's now 5:30) and two I dropped it half IN the oven and half out.  Grrrrrr.  That will be fun to clean up tomorrow! (Yes I left it!) 

2. Loose clinging baby weight: It's the first week.  Cut me some freaking slack!  LOL  I have been eating a 1000 calorie diet for a week - not intentionally.  The diet is supposed to be 1700 calories, but when you cut out sweets and snacks before bed, I'm left with 1000 calories!!  Who knew I ate so well!  Have to work on finding healthy alternatives to add into my diet to bring it up.

3. Be connected.  I say that as I type away on my blog.  Drat.  I knew I was missing something. 

So what do they say about a goal?  It needs to be measurable.  Right? 

Add to #3.  Be connected with one friend/family member each week. 

There.  Measurable. 

So who's up for coffee this week?  I've got 700 extra calories I have to add in! ;)

My co-workers suck

I had a rough day at work yesterday.  My coworkers were being annoying and driving me nuts.  I tried nogotiating with them but to no avail.  I even tried to hand in my resignation but that didn't work either. 

:P

Funny how you can spin things, huh?

Little vacay over!

<INSERT HUGE SIGH HERE>

SIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHH!  

Christmas is over.  Despite my tree still being up (the gentle sound of needles falling has actually become quite soothing...) the holidays are at an end.  Tuesday all the boys will be in school once again and life can get back into a routine.

And the New Year resolutions can begin.  Ouch.  How long will they last this time??  Who knows. 
My two three new years resolutions are:

1. Make more homemade meals from scratch.  I actually haven't waited for the new year for this one.  I'd like to add to this that I am going to try to start 'couponing' as well.  Oh dear.  We'll see how THAT goes.
2. Loose some of this clinging baby weight.  I'm done.  No more babies.  No excuse to hold onto this weight. 
3. Be connected.  That is actually my biggest one.  I am the WORST at being connected with friends, family.  I have absolutely NO long distance friendships - because I SUCK at it.  Like even my friends in Toronto are no longer as close as they once were because I am NOT good at keeping in touch and making plans. 

New years resolultions are really about trying to break free of the ruts we feel like we are in, and I know change can be small and simple, but it's CHANGE right?  We get comfortable with ruts.  It's easy, it's known, and it's convenient. 

Well look out 2011 because I'm getting PLUGGED into people and friendships and relationships and staying connected!! 

See you on the flip side!!  Don't be surprised if I start emailing/calling/knocking on your door!!

HUGS
~K