Falling off track...

 

As soon as I saw this picture I knew I HAD to use it.  I really miss the Thomas the Train days.  I miss them being little so much.  I miss them wanting to spend time with me.  I'm trying so hard to savour all the last little minutes I have with them here all under one roof - but it's so hard!!  Teenagers can be asshats!!  

I started day one with so much determination and now it's day three and I feel like I have fallen so far off track already!  I NEED to lose weight.  I am closing in on a number I never even thought possible for me.  It's gross.  

But I'm also so tired.  I don't know why.  They say my iron is low.  I'm not taking my medication regularly.  I know this ins on me.  But I'm literally sitting at my desk right now typing this with my eyes closed because I'm so tired my eyes are burning.  I told Kiefer every day after school we were going to go for a walk and I feel so tired right now I just can't bring myself to do it!  I need to.  I'm going to force myself to.  The only way I'm ever going to get out of this funk is to do the things I don't want to do.  

The only thing to do when you fall off track is get back on the damn track.  

Okay going for a walk now.

Getting back on track...

 

I'm determined to get back on track.  I was losing weight, and working out daily, and I was doing so well.  I felt like I was doing well.

I also was door-knocking and really rocking it with my business.  And now I'm floundering. In all aspects of my life!  

So TODAY is the day.  April 8.  The eclipse day!  The sun will be hidden and reborn and I will do the same!!  

Maybe I can harness the power of the moon/sun to evolve.  

I'm so afraid of failure.  I'm afraid of looking stupid.  I'm so afraid that it keeps me frozen.  

I NEED to break free from this statue like state!  

Also, while super high at the hockey game last night, I started thinking about a Mel Robins podcast I heard a few weeks ago.  She said, think back to a time when you were happy.  Compare your life then to your life now and make changes.  

I was happy in high school.

High School Krista 

• In the band
• In the choir
• In the jazz band
• Saw my friends everyday 
• Danced 4 times a week
• Had 3 jobs 

And I seemed to juggle it all.

Present Day Krista

• Rarely listen to music
• No weekly hobbies that I commit to
• See my friends once a week (talk to one of them daily)
• No regular physical activity
• 2 jobs and not thriving at one
• Struggling to keep up with house and work

So what's the answer here?

My heart says I need to sing.  I need to incorporate music into my life.  My heart also says, I need to do something that brings me joy surrounding movement.  I really enjoy Zumba classes.  Sort of involves dance and exercise in one.  I also really enjoy yoga since it leans into my flexibility and stretching. 

So mission one: find choir or some sort of singing group I can join. 

Mission two: rejoin gym to attend Zumba classes