Happy 8th Birthday Blaine

It will never fail to amaze me how time has flown. And I remember those early days when I thought time was standing still. Those days when I would walk my colicky, crying baby back and forth across my house SWEARING that time was standing still. That he would simply NEVER out grow this phase, and I would be put into a mental hospital. Fast forward 8 years. Yup. EIGHT YEEEAAARS. It's like I blinked and we got here somehow. I was so challenged with your birth Blaine. Wondering if I was doing the right thing or not. Seems I would continue to be challenged with you. You are my 'spirited' child. My child who challenges not only me, but the world at large, to give you more and better of everything. While it drives me up the wall, I hope you NEVER lose that spirit. I hope you ALWAYS demand the world give you more and better of all the things you love. Blaine, I'm so proud of you for your skating lessons lately. Not because you are the best in the class. But because you NEVER EVER GIVE UP. Even when I earned the world's worst mother award the first week for not bringing mittens for you, you kept falling, hands on the cold ice, and getting up again and again. Never stopping. You've been doing Kumon lately to improve your math skills. Not ONCE have you complained that you have more homework than Parker - cuz you totally do. Again, that spirit inside you - the one that made you so colicky, the one that pushed back on anything and EVERYTHING we said, I believe that spirit is keeping you driven. Keeping you from never giving up and demanding that the world pay you back for your efforts. You are the most proud and protective big brother I have ever seen. I dare say, better than Parker and Derek are to you. You love and care for Kiefer like no one else in our family. You are always there with support and love for him and it makes my heart burst with pride for you. I love you more than words can ever say. I wish that there was some way there was no school and no work and we could discover the world together. I believe you would teach me so much. And I believe you WILL continue to teach me so much. Happy Birthday baby boy. You are growing into a man - it's still a little ways away - but I can see the beginnings starting to sprout - and what a man you are going to be.

Truly the best discovery of 2014 for us!

I am absolutely compelled to share a truly wonderful product with everyone out there.  I myself only stumbled upon it - and I thank my lucky stars I did EVERY day!! 


We were looking for a bike trailer for Kiefer.  Ideally, I wanted some sort of bike extension that allowed him to have more of a bike experience.  Problem is, with his seizures, he will never be able to ride in a typical bike seat.  That put a big limitation on what we were looking for.  I did search "special needs bike" and google did come up with a lot of good solutions.  Problem was - these solutions were in the THOUSANDS of dollar range.  Not something we could afford at this time for a bike!  We decided we would have to settle on a bike trailer - the sort of thing that a child sits in, is enclosed in an almost tent like structure and is dragged by Mom or Dad.  I was a bit disappointed in this because I really wanted Kiefer to be able to have more of a bike RIDING experience.  Not merely being dragged around by Mom or Dad.  The other downfall of the trailer is that they are only good to about 40-60 pounds, and seeing as Kiefer is already past the 45 pound mark, buying a trailer meant our time with this solution was going to be limited. 


I decided I would go onto Consumer Reports to get the BEST darn trailer we could if that was the option we were going to go with.  Keep in mind, I had searched for weeks on Google typing in every combination of "special needs, bike, extra support, full harness" whatever I thought would return what I was hoping for! 


Well to my surprise, Consumer Reports listed another option under "Bike Trailers".


Enter WeeHoo.  Okay, I'm not crazy about the name but it's an AMAZING solution!!! 


http://rideweehoo.com/


(I'd post pictures but it's not working for some reason right now - so just go to the site!!)


This is a full chair solution, with a full five point harness that attaches to Mom or Dad's bike and is like a full bike extension - complete with pedals and chain!!  Chain that is enclosed, I might add, as well as straps to tie little feet to the pedals so they don't fall down and get dragged inadvertently! 


It is the most amazing solution to our problem - and PERFECT for our family.  Kiefer can even SLEEP in this solution while the rest of our family rides in pure comfort.  And Mommy can rest at ease, that he is completely strapped in and SAFE while still keeping up with the rest of the family.  


And one last point - it's good till 9 years of age and up to 80 pounds!  (Some documentation says 90 pounds).  So we've not only found an amazing solution - one that will be with us for years to come. 
 
And it doesn't end there!  Shipping when you order from the site directly is FREE - and NO DUTY to Canada!!!! 
Honestly I cannot go on more about this amazing product and amazing company!!! 


If you have a need for special needs bike solution - look no further for this is it.  Look for us and our Weehoo out riding the neighborhood.  Because now Kiefer asks to go for a bike ride EVERY.  SINGLE.  DAY. 


We couldn't be happier!! 

The Secret of the Delectable Brownie

I don't brag.  Okay, let me clarify.  I don't brag when it comes to myself.  If we're talking about my kids, get a coffee and a good comfy chair because I can talk about them all day. 

Photo credit: Lindsay Stevenson Photography

I mean LOOK at them!  Who wouldn't brag about those handsome little devils.  And little devils they ARE, so it's not just bragging, but lots of funny stories as well.  :) 

But I digress...when, it comes to myself however, I tend to be a little quieter.  (Those of you who truly know me just laughed at the sentence that included a reference to myself being 'quiet'.)  I will, however, admit that I make the best damn brownie around.  For.  REAL. 

And I love to bake - so for friends, family and co-workers that works out REALLY nicely for them.  Everyone always asks me the secret to my brownies.  Well, let me first tell you, it's not just one secret, it's several elements. 

First of all, I love to bake.  Cook - not so much.  BAKE - I'm all over it.  I think I was 7 or 8 when I got my first easy bake oven and started subject my family (mostly my poor little brother and sister who knew no better) to my stone hard cookies, or sand dry 'cakes' all baked with the power of a 100 watt bulb.  I love the mixing of sugars and oils, the beating of eggs.  The science behind why for some reason when I beat the eggs with the wet ingredients and THEN add the dry it almost always turns out better.  And I love refining my craft.  Taking bits and pieces of when something turns out really well (or scraping and starting again when it's really bad!) and incorporating them into how I do things.  I really think this is the major secret.  If you're adding water to a mix and throwing it into the oven - you really lack a key ingredient.  And that is passion.  You need to, at the very least, like what you're doing. 

Okay second.  The good stuff.  Callebaut chocolate. 

I am seriously not even going to explain this one to you.  If you don't know what it is, Google it.  If you still can't figure it out I will spell it out for you: It is God come down to earth and make chocolate.  My brownies ALWAYS include Callebaut chocolate.  If you want divine creations, you must use divine ingredients.  Callebaut is chocolate scripture. 

Third and lastly - a polar opposite to Mr. Callebaut - Betty Crocker.  Yes my friends Mrs. Crocker herself. I use tub icing. French chocolate of course - Mr. Callebaut would have it no other way.  I use store bought, tub icing.  No I don't add anything.  No I don't whip it in the mixer. Ms. Crocker has devoted her life to this icing and I just scoop that dark gooey goodness right from the tub into a piping bag and squeeze onto cooled brownies. 

So there you have it.  Secrets out in the open. Now go out there and make a batch of this yummy goodness.  It really is happy in a pan. :)

Where to next?

I’m not sure where to go from here.  It’s a place I’ve never been before and there are no directions on where to go next.  “Take each day as they come” is the advice given to me, but I’m one that likes to prepare.  What will I need?  What tools should I make sure I’ve got?  How do I prepare for tomorrow or tomorrow’s tomorrow?  What are my coping mechanisms if everything falls apart?  How do I put it back together again?  Most importantly, how do I make sure things are WHOLE for my son.  My son.  My SON.  Who, truly is, the centre of my universe.  

Back in November of last year, we were given the news that Kiefer, our four year old bundle of joy and love, is autistic.  It wasn’t shocking news.  We weren’t blown out of our seats surprised at the news.  We had him assessed.  We obviously thought there could be something up when we signed him up for the ADOS testing.  But until you hear those words.  Until a doctor looks you in the face and says, “well, yes he has come back as being on the spectrum” you just have all these hopes and dreams as to what your child’s life will be like.  And for us, for me, the hardest part is not knowing what the future holds for Kiefer.  

“Well, we can’t really tell you what his future will look like.  He is clearly high functioning right now, but sometimes those kids degenerate and become worse off.  Sometimes they ‘outgrow it’, as much as you can outgrow autism”

I spent two months not talking about it.  The odd question would come up and I would answer, well, we just got back a diagnosis – but I couldn’t even bring myself to say the word.  Autism.  

My head fills with thoughts like will he be teased in school?  Will he be an outsider always wanting in with the other kids?  Will he know he’s different?  Will he be happy?  Will he learn everything he needs to know?  Will he go to high school?  Will he go to college or university?  Will he get married?  Will he always need to live with us?  Will that be a burden on us or will it be okay?  Will his brothers see him as a burden?  Will he be NORMAL?  

There are no answers.  The answers I get are ‘we don’t know’.  No one knows.  Just take each day as they come to you.  

So the original future wedding I had all played out in my mind, Kiefer wearing a tuxedo and a figure of a woman all dressed in white, are dashed away.  But there isn’t a scary image left in it’s place.  The canvas is blank.  Empty.  Dark.  

We fear the unknown.  I fear it.  I fear it for Kiefer.  I want to gather him up in my big Momma arms with his “squeezy hug?” requests and his favorite books on animals and stuffy’s and protect him from the world that I’m terrified will hurt him.  That I’m terrified will crush his easy go lucky, carefree happy spirit.  The spirit that everyone loves so much about him.  That I love about him.  

I don’t know where to go from here.  The only thing I do know is every journey begins with the first step.  Please be gentle with us as our footing on this journey isn’t quite stable yet.  

Scarf?

Kiefer LOVES to bring his stuffed animals wherever he goes.  It is not unusual to see us shopping in Costco with Kiefer in the shopping cart next to a stuffed elephant or frog that dwarfs him.  We get tons of “oh that’s so cute” comments as we check out with ‘both’ of our children in tow.  We can usually convince Kiefer that he can only bring ONE animal, and even then, convince him that they have to stay in the car to ‘keep the car safe’. 

This morning, while Paul was getting Kiefer ready, Kiefer made his usual request, “One toy in car?”  Paul obliged saying that one toy was okay.  Kiefer had decided on his hippo – a favorite of his to bring…not too big but not too small just the right size to transport but big enough to cuddle.  But then he came across his snake. 

“Snake too Daddy?”

“No Kiefer, ONE toy”

“PUH-LEEEEAAAASE”

“No.”

“Okay Daddy”

Paul turned around for a minute to get his coat on and turned around to find the snake wrapped through the handle of his bag. 

“Kiefer the snake isn’t coming today okay?”

“Okay Daddy.”

Paul then went to the front hall to get his keys and returned to find Kiefer with his coat and boots on and the snake wrapped around his neck. 

With only one word as Paul looked down at Kiefer trying not to laugh Kiefer said,

“SCARF!”

Paul burst out laughing and Kiefer followed suit.  What a nut bar.  But he still didn’t get to bring his snake!