I'm crumbling. I am crumbling under the pressure. Sometimes, life is just too much to bear and where do you turn? Who truly understands what you are going through and what can make you feel better?
My spiritual side says, God. Cliches like, "I was carrying you when you were too weak" come to mind, but somehow, the crumbling continues. "He only gives you as much as you can handle". Well someone has CLEARLY stolen my identity, because I am being reduced to a graham cracker crumb crust.
Well what's going on, you ask? What's NOT going on? Family pressures and feuds, health issues with our youngest son, I'm looking for work, financial stress and in a couple of months a very expensive HOLIDAY season will be upon us. What's going on? Again I say, what's NOT going on?!
The straw that broke the camels back this morning was a new fight I am having with Kiefer's neurologist. Yes, my two year old has a neurologist. He wants us to have some of our tests done at RVH and some of them done at Sick Kids. What is the point of this? Does it not make sense to have all tests done at the same place under the same doctor?? Besides the fact that Sick Kids is a WOLRD reknown leader in childrens health and it's in our backyard! Why would I go anywhere else?!
When you are already fighting a fight in getting the tests done in the first place, it weakens you when you have to fight with DOCTORS, none the less, on WHERE said tests should be.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. ROAR. Grrr. sigh......I am losing steam.
For anyone wondering, a 'Coles notes' on the situation is that Kiefer has been suffering minor seizures. They are minor. He is on medication for them (has been for almost a YEAR now with NO tests having been done...again ROAR) and I am trying my futile best to get to the bottom of the sitution. PLEASE for the love of God do not email me and ask me a slew of questions, because honestly, that's all the information I have right there. I've refrained from saying anything at this point because anyone who did get a little snipit of info proceeded to grill me with 20 questions, NONE of which I can answer. TRUST ME, I WISH I COULD.
To add to the situation, Kiefer is speech delayed. I've had a slew of explanations thrown at me from being autistic to metally disabled. (Is that the PC way of saying it these days...if not please forgive my ignorance)
Kiefer is my baby. My last born. His favorite colour is yellow, he loves to listen to music asking for songs by his names for them. He loves Thomas the train and he LOVES to read. He's my sun, moon and stars and Lord help the person that tries to get in MY WAY of doing what is best for my son.
He is a normal happy boy and all I want is some freaking HELP to make him the best he can be. Why is that too much to ask???
