Therapy

 

Not sure how much this visual will resonate with what I write, but I liked it - and it is a good visual for me.  I might print it off, laminate it, and put it up in my office.  And give the boys a copy too.  

I have therapy this morning and I want to address my rising anger.  I keep thinking that this anger and these emotions need to be dealt with by confronting my abusers - but I always ask myself "to what end?" 

What am I hoping to accomplish by expressing my anger to my abusers?  I guess I want them to know I'm still dealing with what they did.  I'm still GREATLY affected by and my life has been directed by what they did to me.  My inability to concentrate in school, the partner I chose, the way I raise my children, my paralyzing fear to succeed, my inability to be sexual and not think about the abuse.  It affects me to the core of my being and if they think that I'm walking around just fine - they have another thing coming.  

But what will that do?  What will it change?  How will it affect them?  Should I care?  What if I regret expressing my anger?  Once a word is said you cannot take it back.  

So I think that's what I'm talking about today in therapy.

~K