It's been 3 years and it still hurts like it's been 3 minutes...

Three years ago today I recieved a phone call from my husbands best friend Rick.  Rick's voice was shakey and he was clearly upset. 

"She's not going to make it through the night" he stammered. 

"What?!" I blasted back, as if he were accusing ME of something. 

"The doctors say her organs are shutting down and we don't have much longer"

"Oh my God," I sigh, "Are you okay?"

I did NOT just say that.  Not my brightest shining moment, I admit.

"NO I'm not OKAY," Rick naturally blasts back, "My wife is DYING."

Okay I need to get a hold of my BRAIN, slap it around a bit for taking a break at such a critical time, and get a hold of this situation.

"Rick, I'm calling Paul and we're coming down there.  We'll be there in a couple of hours."

I called Paul at work, he left work immediately.  I then called my sister to get her to come over and watch the boys so we could be with Rick in his time of need. 

We raced down to the hospital, just over an hour drive away.  We arrived at the ICU and called the room.  No answer.  We got a hold of a nurse and she said no one was around.  We waited in the waiting room for a bit, and then Rick walked in, tear stained face. 

"We lost her about an hour ago."

We were too late.  Selfishly, my first thought was, I'm too late.  I never got to say my final good bye. 

We stayed with Rick for the rest of the afternoon and went back to his place.  The house looked the exact same.  Pictures of the family gracing the fridge, drawings their 4 year old son Nathan had drawn proudly hanging on the walls.  But it was cold.  That warm loving house was so cold for the first time. 

Nola was gone.  And she wasn't ever coming back. 

Nola and I were "big things" friends.  We were always there for each other for the big things.  She and Rick came to Nassau for our wedding.  We attended their surprise wedding/baby shower.  We all celebrated when Nola's brother visiting from Yokoslavia to donate bone marrow.  We were always there for the big things.  Rick and Paul played hockey together and often we would coordinate when we could make a game together so the kids could play and we could catch up.  I loved getting hand me downs from Nola of Nathan's for Parker.  But probably the BIGGEST thing was I loved Nola for her mothering.  She was a PERFECT mother to Nathan.  And she always had the best advice.  And never in a judgemental way.  Not at all.  It was as if she thought she was just muddling along like the rest of us, when really she looked like a professional!

All of the sudden that was gone.  My friend was gone. 

And now, 3 years later my friend is still gone.  And although I wish I had more time with her, I wish I could have gotten the chance to be even closer friends with her, she is STILL GONE. 

And today, like every February 25th, I'm sad.  Really really sad. 

We lost one of the good ones. 

The world lost Nola.

I love you Nola.  And I miss you so much.