Staying Strong...

 

It's very important to me to be strong.  Being 'strong' can be taken in so many different ways.  We tried to move a fridge this weekend from the garage to the house - seems like it would be an easy task!  We even have a dolly so we could wheel it around and bring it up the THREE steps easily into the house.  Well, let me tell you - my husband and two boys as well as myself were not 'strong' enough to get that thing into the house.  Or perhaps we were wise enough to know it wasn't a good idea!   

At the beginning of this year, I was going to the gym every day (through the week) and training my body.  But as much as I was training my body, I was also training my mind.  The commitment and determination it takes to stay consistent with your goals isn't just physical training but a mental one.  

And if I'm completely honest, I think mentally training your mind and becoming 'strong' is even more important than physical training.  

It's crucial for me to stay mentally strong.  And many days, I do not feel mentally strong.  I feel worthless.  I feel unsafe.  I feel unworthy.  I feel forgotten.  I feel unloved.  

And these feelings are common for those who have experienced childhood trauma like I have.  And I'm trying so hard to heal and get better.  I'm trying so hard to train those emotions and feelings out of me.  I am strong.  I DO accomplish what I put my mind to.  (hello!  VBA2C!!)  I am safe.  I am worthy.  I am not forgotten (by those who matter) and I am loved.  

I need to remember those things on the days that I don't feel strong.  That my mind is a tricky little bugger who likes to deceive me! What I think (sometimes) is not real!  It's a story my mind has made up and I start to believe it!  I need to remember what a storyteller my mind can be!  Robert Munsch ain't got nuthin' on my mind!  

I got this.  I need to start treating myself like I would treat one of my girlfriends.  Because I'm an awesome friend.  Supportive and kind.  Giving.  Loving.  

Krista Birkbeck deserves that kind of treatment too.  From HERSELF!  

So that's my new years resolution.  I'm not waiting for the New Year to start.  I am starting today.  

Krista is awesome.  Krista IS strong.  And Krista is worthy of all the love and kindness she puts OUT in the world.  She is deserving of some to turn inward.  

💜