Laughable

 I had a dream last night that was eerily a good insight to what I think I'm feeling - but didn't even realize.  

DREAM: 

I was walking down the street when I saw one of my real estate signs in the window of someone's door.  The door had a clear window and they were using one of my signs turned on its side as a window shade.  I walked up to the door and knocked and when the woman answered I saw she had several of my signs in her studio.  There were other employees around big tables in an open space where many of my signs were being stored.  Only there was something 'off' about them.  They were hand-drawn.  And some of my signs that were not hand-drawn, had paint all over them.  

I ripped the sign from the door saying "This is mine and there is a copyright on it and you can't be doing this!!"  I started to gather up all the signs as the people sitting around just looked on in disbelief.  They seemed like they started laughing at me to themselves.  As I tried to get out of the studio with all my signs (and the handmade ones claiming they had copyright) the woman who answered the door, and appeared to be in charge, started scribbling on the signs as I was carrying them.  She exclaims, "There I've signed them so they are considered art and no copyright applies to art!!" 

I continued to storm out of the studio but as I did, I could hear all the people laughing as I was leaving and I heard one person say, "WHAT A JOKE!  She thinks people are going to take her seriously with that colourful goofy logo!  hahaha" 

All I could hear as I was storming out with all my signs was laughter.  And they were laughing AT ME. 

I woke up feeling embarrassed and sheepish.   I want to be taken seriously.  I can feel the embarrassment I felt in elementary school when I was teased and bullied.  I want to heal that little girl and tell her how awesome she is and that those people are just dumb!  They can't see the amazing person you are!  

How do I heal that little girl inside so she doesn't feel like a joke?! Perhaps something to talk about tomorrow at my therapy appointment.

I just wanted to make sure I had written it down and remembered how that felt.