I can hardly believe that it's 2023 as I type this. I had to double-check the year.
I kinda thought I would have more done with my life by now. I mean, I have no idea WHAT that thing was going to be. At one point, I thought I was going to be a doctor - but as soon as I entered university, I knew I wasn't cut out for it. I'm not smart enough. Or motivated enough. I often wonder what my childhood trauma did to affect my future. I further wonder what trauma am I creating for my own children and what will they blame me for?
Parker, Blaine, and Parker's girlfriend Nyla are outside now shoveling the driveway. I spent over an hour this morning trying to get the snowblower to start to no avail. I spilled gas ALL over the place - including all over my NEW winter boots. They are in the washing machine right now - but we all know how easily the smell of GAS gets out of things. UGH.
Back to my life. I'm 45. Going to be 46 this year. I have decided that 2023 is the year of Krista. It's the year I get my shit together. It's the year I FINALLY get into shape. (I've worked out every weekday for three weeks now. I told someone the other day it's been a month but I guess technically it hasn't been. I have one more week left. 😄) I feel motivated and good about eating healthy and working out. I've lost 10 pounds so far but I really want to be below 260. Hell, I REALLY want to be below 200 but I need to take it one step at a time.
I've been working with a personal trainer digitally - and it's been helping. At least I know what exercises to do. Years seem to slip by without noticing and nothing changes. So I just keep telling myself, July will be here before I know it. I just need to keep doing what I'm doing until my birthday. If I can do that, I will reach my goals by then! I mean, I'm sure I will come up with MORE goals - but that's okay too. I just hate living in this body.
I'm also motivated to get the house in order. Like FINALLY. After living here for 13.5 years. We rented a bin (finally!) this summer and we FILLED it. I think I could fill it again!
I actually have goals in 8 areas of my life this year thanks to a new planner - have I mentioned it? MakseLife has this amazing planner that helps you do an assessment of your life and then score each area. You then set goals and break them down into manageable chunks and it's like magic. I know it's not rocket science but it just makes it so simple.
So here are my 8 areas and goals:
Personal: discipline with taking time for me. Taking time to plan my weeks, taking time for my hobbies, taking time to watch motivational videos or listen to podcasts, and more reading time (less tv). I feel like if I make these my focuses this year personally, I will find more joy and fulfillment in my life.
Fun and Recreation: the focus for this one is family. planning vacations, weekends away, and time with kids, friends, and Mum and Dad.
Work and Learning: The focus here is consistency. Keeping regular office hours, work my database, reading, listen to podcasts, and being consistent with my social media presence. Which I was doing really good at and then I just died. Right along with COVID.
Family and Relationships: the focus here is healing. I'm working with a therapist, and I'm working on a textbook (I call it my textbook time) to deal with my childhood sexual abuse. I also want to focus on the boys here too - fostering a good relationship with them and keeping them close to me as they grow into young men. I'm terrified of losing them. They will ALWAYS be my babies.
Health and Wellness: as I mentioned I'm getting into shape! FINALLY. After years of carrying around extra weight and generally just feeling shitty about myself, I've had ENOUGH! I'm prioritizing working out - EVERY. DAMN. DAY. (okay not weekends but I try to get a walk-in on the weekend). I'm tracking my food intake, my water intake (takes a sip of water), steps, and weight. I've lost 10 pounds and I started to think that wasn't that impressive - and then my girlfriend Linda told me I needed to think about 10 pounds of butter. I lost that much weight! Damn. Good analogy! That made me feel a lot better. 😁 My health and wellness also includes my mental health. I'm working on journalling more and getting my thoughts out of my head. There's A LOT floating around in my head at any given minute! I recently took a mental health seminar and it was really informative.
Spiritual and Personal Growth: here's where I'm focusing on gratitude. This one is a bit of a work in progress for me (read I haven't really started yet this year). It's not that I'm not thankful for anything - it's that it seems to have gotten lost in the mix of the million other things I'm working on. I do know where my gratitude journal is now (thank you physical space goals for cleaning up and building the bookcase) so I plan on getting to this one this week no scratch that TONIGHT. I'm also working on meditating every day. I'm on a three-day streak! Wooowhooo. I love the Headspace app. Although I think I might start working in some other meditations. I also have as one of my goals, to join a church. That's a tougher one for me. I believe in God. I think. I want to believe in God. I want to have the kind of faith that pulls me through the rough times. I want to be a part of a community that surrounds me and loves me and treats me with the kind of love and respect I feel like I treat my friends with. But I have yet to find it. This is where the whole doubt in God thing comes in. But I believe I have a seedling of faith (I hope I still do). Although it is covered with a lot of cold stones of doubt, I believe it's still there. There's hope there at the VERY least and that's gotta account for something right?
Financial: OUUUUUU this is a big one. My big focus here is on both my spending and my business. I have taken out a prepaid reloadable credit card and it's the ONLY thing I carry in my wallet. I have $500 to spend each week and THAT'S IT. That pays for groceries, gas, and anything else I want in that week. You would think $500 a week was a lot. Sounds like a lot to me. It's HARD. It's Thurday and I have $11 left on my credit card. (Granted I had to spend $50 extra in gas this week that I wasn't expecting but still). It really makes me question if I really need something or not. So it's good. And my business. I've gotten back into social media posting - which is good. I like the interaction of social media and I believe I am putting out posts that are valuable in some way for people. Good tips or information for people to have about buying, selling, maintaining etc. their homes. I also have a GRAND yearly goal of having $50,000 saved in the bank. That means more clients. LOTS of more clients. I am going to R4 (Remax Convention) this year so I'm really hoping I can get inspired and kick start my 2023 and get some sales under my belt!
Physical Environment: I read somewhere once, a clear space equates to a clear mind. I truly believe in this philosophy. If my desk is a mess, I cannot focus on the task at hand. I've gotten better at ignoring the room but it used to be the room needed to be tidy and clean as well. I've been working on a chore list each week through my planner and although most weeks, I fall behind, it has been keeping the house much tidier and I've felt more on top of things. I've even scheduled cleaning my VAN out in the timetable so my car isn't a source of embarrassment if I have an appointment with a client. That is REALLY important to me.
Anyways, those are my 2023 goals. I think I might print out some graphics to put up on my bulletin board that is above my desk. Something visual to remind me what I'm working towards.
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