Recently, I've been trying to make some changes in my life. I find myself getting annoyed and frustrated with certain situations in my life but I know that sort of energy only to be damaging and not productive. How does the saying go? You can only control your own actions, not the actions of those around you...or something like that. I subscribe firmly to that statement.
Mahatma Gandhi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world". I believe this is even more true when raising children. I am not, or at the very least, do not WANT to be a "Do as I say, not as I do" sort of parent. If I want my children to learn something, I believe they are going to learn it best from my example.
All that being said, I have started going to church, every week for the last couple of months now. I'm looking for some "bigger" answers, some "bigger" truths, and hey, if you're going to get 'help' from someone, who better to help you than the Big Guy himself. :o)
Only I'm at a loss. I don't feel like any answers are forthcoming. I don't feel renewed or stronger. As a matter of fact, I'm feeling tired and weak. I feel like I have taken steps BACKWARDS, instead of forwards.
SIGH. So then I turn back to what I believe. "Be the change...you want to see". So where do I find some answers. This may shock some of you, but I do in fact own and even READ, a bible.
So then I find 2 Corinthians 12:9. "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
So I'm thinking, that despite my feeling weak, I should have some Christful power in me right now??? Why doesn't it feel that way? And how do I get that feeling??
Am I going to the wrong church? You know when you go to church and the sermon just seems like it was written for you and you alone? That somehow the priest knew EXACTLY what to say to reach into your heart and soul and lift you up and make you feel stronger? I've had moments like that, and they are so empowering. So awesome. Today, this morning, at mass was the EXACT opposite. After the readings and then the sermon, I thought, wow, that wasn't helpful AT ALL.
How can that be?? Am I missing something???
Somebody help me out here....
Perhaps the "church" you need right now is just family and friends. i was raised VERY catholic and after the death of my father found little comfort in church. One thing, however, that I have taken with me is the power of community when you need advice, support, and love. In some ways, I have come to believe that message in itself is the meaning of religion. While we all have our own view on this (and clearly I am not trying to tell you not to go to church) it may be what you need is a sympathetic ear and someone with advice on your specific situation...and not the wise words of the corinthians (as wise as they are ;). What ever you choose to do, you will get through this and be stronger than ever.
ReplyDeletePlease let me know if there is anything I can do to help or if you just need a chance to talk over a good old London Fog (and I promise not to drink it this time!)
hugs
t
Hey Krista,
ReplyDeleteThis is a two-part comment from me, Tim. :-)
Your last comment kind of spoke to me. "How can that be?? Am I missing something???"
I hope you are okay with me giving you advice! I have been a very involved Christian for my entire life, and a VERY involved Catholic for the last 13 years. I see people at mass all the time who are just there to "punch the clock". Perhaps they know that missing Sunday mass is a mortal sin that severs their relationship with God, and that's why they attend; out of a sense of obligation and a fear of Hell. Others that I see, are struggling to get something out of it. And others seem uplifted and consoled. From week to week, I can see the same person go through all of those stages! It's not unusual at all. So, I would first suggest to hang in there.
Second, I would suggest a reminder: mass isn't about feelings, at all. Sometimes we get nice feelings when we go, which is fine, but that is not the reason that we go. Think of the early Catholic martyrs who had to go to mass secretly, under pain of imprisonment and death if they were discovered. I'm sure they didn't hang around afterward and chit chat about the weather and how Father's sermon really made them feel better! No, they went for the same reason that we should go: to receive spiritual food (not emotional food!) in the form of the Eucharist. It's completely possible to feel absolutely nothing at all at mass and still be spiritually strengthened. Some people feel worse after mass, in fact (as you yourself have experienced).
Third, it's definitely possible to get a spiritual boost at mass, but you probably need something else. Keep going to mass, don't' get me wrong. Every Sunday, no matter the weather! But, in addition, to help you keep your sanity as a mother who is striving to be a good Catholic example to her children, I suggest supplementing what you get at mass with additional things which can be emotionally boosting.
What additional things? It depends on what you need, but here are some ideas:
- Daily prayer. At a bare minimum, I suggest at least 10 minutes before bed. 30 minutes is better, but can be hard to manage.
- Daily Scripture reading. You already read the Bible - awesome! Keep going, and stick to the New Testament, especially the Gospels.
- Find out what ministries your parish offers... sometimes there are mothers groups where moms get together and encourage each other (Cathy runs one at our home, actually!), or other groups that you may find edifying. You can even sit in on the RCIA classes, where converts learn about the Church, just to help bolster your own faith life.
- Looking at the St. John Vianney website (I think that's your parish?) they have some interesting events coming up. http://www.stjohnvianney.ca/Bulletins/2011%20Archive/Mar%2027%202011.pdf You may enjoy attending the Lift Jesus Higher Rally this year... the theme is "Joy in Difficult Times"! Check out that PDF link for some details there.
Those are the obvious things. Here are some non-obvious things, but really, these will take you into new levels of spiritual (and emotional) fulfillment, and I'm just barely scratching the surface of what is available out there (see my next comment):
ReplyDeleteThere is a LOT of awesome Catholic encouragement out there in the form of media. Here are some great things you can watch and listen to:
EWTN on Youtube They have all kinds of great shows that you can watch for free online!)
WLOF, a local Catholic radio station They play a nationally-syndicated show at 1pm every day call The Doctor Is In, which is awesome for Moms. They have an 11am show called Women of Grace which you would also enjoy.
Reasons for Faith These guys have a radio show called Reasons For Faith - Cathy enjoys them a lot.
Catholic View for Women This is a new show that you might like.
Books! So. Many. Books. It can be tough to find a time to read, but even one page a night before bed (after or before Scripture reading!) will be a big help. I recommend a few great mothering books for Catholic moms:
The Heart of Motherhood: Finding Holiness in the Catholic Home
The Handbook for Catholic Moms: Nurturing Your Heart, Mind, Body, and Soul
Smart Martha's Catholic Guide for Busy Moms
Mom to Mom, Day to Day: Advice and Support for Catholic Living
A Mothers Rule of Life: How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul
You're A Better Parent Than You Think
Discipline That Lasts A Lifetime
CDs! So. Many. CDs. Almost any from this list would be awesome:
Lighthouse Media CDs and MP3s
That should get you started. Remember, Christ founded the Catholic Church to be his ongoing presence in the world, especially in the form of the Eucharist. You cannot get it in any other church. But you can often get emotional encouragement with a little digging. :-)
Pax
Tim
THANK YOU SO MUCH TIM!!!! I ALWAYS ALWAYS appreciate your spiritual advice. Wow, good memory about St. John Vianny!! We've just recently switched parishes though. We are now at Holy Spirit because the BOYS actually expressed sadness in not seeing the preist they see at school. I will definately look into some ministries and some of those books sound RIGHT up my alley...ally? Wow...i'm a bad speller!
ReplyDeleteTHANKS AGAIN! You rock.
Hugs,
Krista