Blah blah blah

 

As soon as I searched for an image under "blah" this one came up and it instantly spoke to me.  I'm feeling very 'blah' these days.  Unmotivated, under the weather, and not happy with life in general.  I feel an insane amount of anxiety these days (constantly thinking of worst-case scenarios in my head) and pressure to keep up with the invisible Joneses.  Jones'?  Jone's?  Whatever, you get the picture.  

I have been working on several different quilts for gifts for the end of the school year.  I am working on one for Kiefer's teacher who has been an absolute GOD SEND as a teacher this year.  She's absolutely amazing!!  I've never done a quilt for a teacher before (mostly because I take SO LONG to complete one) but this lady deserves it.  It's just a little lap quilt - but I love it and I hope she does too.  I have enough of the exact same fabric to make another one - so I just might!  

I'm also working on one for Nyla, Parker's current girlfriend.  I realize that she might not always be his girlfriend - which pains me to think it might eventually get thrown out - but I wanted to do something special for her.  She makes Parker so happy - and she treats him REALLY well.  Man that kid deserves to be happy and I don't think it comes easy to him.  I feel guilty about that too.  

I bought a quilt kit for a hamburger quilt - I really want to finish it but the lady who sold it to me really undersold how difficult it would be.  She said it took her sampler only a weekend to complete it.  It's going to take me 17 years!! It's so complicated!!  I might have to kidnap Kathy and get her to help me with it over a weekend.  

Poor Blaine, suffering from the same motivation trap I am.  He's going to fail math.  I've poked and prodded him along all semester but if that boy doesn't want to do something, he will NOT do it.  And I'm done with fighting.  It's been fighting all his life!  I'm exhausted and too tired to keep fighting.  I know that makes me a bad parent but I just can't anymore.  I feel like I do most of it alone.  And Paul just FREAKS out.  

I feel VERY scattered lately.  Like ADHD on overdrive.  During this journal entry I've stopped countless times to do other things.  Call the cake lady.  Respond to text messages.  Google search "omnipresent".  WHAT THE HELL FOR?!  

Anyways, this was a checklist item today - again no motivation to really do anything.  

So ...DONE!